It never ceases to amaze me how quick we are to criticize one another or to proclaim that we “would not take crap off” another human being when we most certainly will and do.  In fact, most of us do every day.  What we should say is that we won’t take crap off of the individual that another person may elect to take crap off of.  Truth be told, each of us takes or has taken crap off of someone at our own discretion at some point.  Sometimes, even when we are actively taking crap off of someone, we are in denial.  We can clearly see that someone else is taking crap off of another and will point this out to them, often unsolicited.  But, we refuse to see when this same truth applies to us. That is, until we have had our fill.

You see, each of us has our own threshold for how much crap we are willing to take, even off of individuals we deem worthy.  Until that limit is reached, crap will continue to be taken.  This is why you cannot get someone to break up with someone else even when you plainly see that the person you are trying to convince is obviously being abused on many levels.  Another way to phrase this is that you cannot be pissed off on another person’s behalf.  Each of us has our own tolerance level and must reach that level on our own.  Each of us decides, consciously or subconsciously, who they will or will not take crap from.  If you pay close attention, you will see which group you fall into very quickly.  If you have to walk on eggshells in your relationship, then you already know that your position is not solid.  You are, to put it simply, expendable.

Intervening sometimes, even in an attempt to help, oftentimes prolongs the agony.  Some people have to crap out or hit rock bottom before they can walk away.  The shocking part in this equation is that the same person who may have thrown you aside for a minor infraction will allow themselves to be utterly destroyed by someone not worthy to tie your shoe laces.  It’s maddening, but it happens.  They have their list of crapworthy people, and you aren’t on it.  All your intervention did was shift some of the blame away from where it belonged and place it on yourself.  The only way to avoid that is to stay out of it and only get involved when they ask you to.  Another—better—way to avoid this is to re-evaluate your own crap list.  If you aren’t on theirs, ask yourself why they are on yours.  Can anybody hear me?

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