You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2012.

Each of us has a moment in our lives where we demonstrate bravery in the face of a very difficult situation.  Still, there are those other moments that haunt us long after the situation has ended. You know, the ones that make you continue to kick yourself over and over again for not having the courage to deal with a particular situation and/or person when they were blatantly and/or publicly disrespecting you or someone you love.  Years after the fact, you wished you had punched them or, at the very least, leveled them with harsh words.

Instead, you just stood there or, even worse, cried.  Ten, twenty, thirty or more years later, you still have not lived it down.  Even if there is no one around who witnessed or even remembers the incident, you just can’t move forward.  Simply stated, you want a do-over.  You want a chance to do or say all the things you said in your mind two-hours later when you got home.  You want a chance to do or say all the things you told everyone you had already said or done during the encounter but, in reality, had not.

Take comfort.  You are not alone.  Most of us regret our lack of action and/or proper response in one situation or another on any given day.  Try to remember that true courage is not found in treating every battle the same or returning fire even to a well deserved villain.  Sometimes, it comes from being able to move forward even when it is painful to do so.  Let it go.  Move on.  Sometimes, real courage is found by simply walking away.  Can anybody hear me?

We tend to overuse the term “friend” when we, in fact, mean people we are acquainted with, eat lunch with, share common seating areas at work with, laugh with, etc.  However, a friend—indeed, friendship itself—entails so much more.

Friendship embodies systems of relationships between people, organizations or countries that are characterized by mutual trust, assistance, approval, support and respect. Nevertheless, we tend to refer to others as friends, even when they have yet to show all (or sometimes any) of the above mentioned criteria.  In fact, we go so far as to call individuals friends when we barely know them at all.  Can we be surprised when these same people fail to live up to our expectations?  No.  We cannot.  We gave a title of kinship to people who had not earned it.  While they may have surprised us and lived up to it, us being hurt was a far more likely conclusion.

This is not to imply that friends will never hurt you.  However, a friend, or rather a real friend, should have your best interest at heart, even (or maybe especially) on those occasions when you don’t even have your own best interest at heart.  Can anybody hear me?

It seems as though we are constantly inundated with self-help books targeted at women—each authored by men with no credentials other than being male.  Somehow, by that status, they are able to tell women how to trick, trap, hold, keep, etc other men.

After reading more than my fair share of these mind numbing attempts at brainwashing females into twisting, contorting and otherwise rebirthing themselves in order to gain desired male company (see The King of Masks), I have had it!  I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be single!

Does anyone remember the days of old…where men decided they wanted a wife while they were yet completing high school and well before the completion of higher education?  Do we remember how they tailored their dating specifically towards the search for wife and not just to see how many illicit children they could father without any other contribution outside of spermatozoa?

By prom time, he had it already figured out.  You were the girl for him.  All he had to do was graduate and become gainfully employed in order to secure a home for his intended.   He already had a car.  It wasn’t the flashiest model but, it still looked pretty good when he escorted you about town.

That was when men and women looked forward to getting married and there wasn’t so much discussion about so-called gold-diggers other than in reference to individuals who literally dug gold for living.  That was when men were real men, and looked forward to taking care of his wife and children, instead of resenting it.  Men understood what was expected of them and were not upset to demonstrate financial success before taking a wife.  This he did before asking for her hand from her father.

Nowadays, when a woman even attempts to seek financial information from a man, she is labeled as greedy and/or a gold-digger instead of as an individual concerned for herself and the welfare of future children.  I think I like the ideology of so-called third world countries, where people are more honest.  The families decide on a dowry long before any wedding will take place.  Each family knows what is expected of them, and the bride and groom each know their respective roles.

But, I digress.  I guess women’s liberation sealed our fate.  Instead of focusing on equality in salary for same-level employment, women focused on equality in maleness, often taking jobs that were allocated for men if for no other reason than the sheer bodily strength required to perform the task.  Can we at least admit that men’s bodies are built differently from that of female’s bodies?  Can we admit that each sex has a different — not lesser/greater than — role on this earth?   What was wrong with that?

Today, it is nothing to see women sweating it out on construction sites.  Sadly, it is also nothing to see men seated while women stand above them on buses, trains etc.; for men to sit back while their dates pay the tab for the date; for men to move in with women and be completely financially supported by their girlfriends/wives; for men to stay at home while their wives go out to earn a living for the family, etc.  If you’ve trapped that kind of a male, (I just can’t call that a man in all good conscious), don’t try to think like him.  Throw him back!

Is this what women really wanted when they said they wanted equal rights?  Can anybody hear me?