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If you’re like me, you hate to see anyone being mistreated.  If you’re REALLY like me, you hate to see almost ANY living creature (with a special minus on a select few) being mistreated as well.

As such, I am as upset over the recent immigration scandal as anyone else.  However, what really makes me upset is when people become selectively distraught by the sufferings of some while willfully ignoring the sufferings of others.

What do I mean?

It is of a truth that Jewish communities are allowed and even encouraged to remember the misdeeds of one Adolf Hitler.  According to history, he targeted them for destruction over a period of approximately 5 years.  We can safely assume that he is hated by all Jewish persons and, furthermore, that others are taught to revile him as well.

To that end, the Holocaust is taught in detail at every learning institution; at least one film is produced every year recounting their mistreatment; and (and this is the best part) even though they have recovered (quite handsomely, I might add) in the form of a homeland (Israel) and the amassing of extreme wealth, and social and political influence, Hitler remains atop history’s most hated villains list.

Conversely, African Americans, who were kidnapped from their homeland, enslaved in a foreign land, raped, murdered, pillaged, bred like animals and violated in every aspect of their lives, are directed to do the opposite of what Jewish persons are allowed (and even instructed) to do.  Instead of being encouraged to remember (even though it’s impossible to forget an ongoing saga) their historical mistreatment at the hands of an entire race of people (not just one man), African Americans are instructed not to relive their obvious and no less disturbing suffering.  And they are admonished for doing otherwise.

In fact, African Americans, unlike any other group, have to feign adjustment and affection for a hostile political and social system or risk being accused of being hate-filled, unable to move on from the past, and/or of using their history as slaves as an excuse for any lack of success; all of this despite the fact that they continue to reside in the land of their former slavemasters and must continually battle for basic human rights (or even to be left alone to live and work in peace) even in 2018.

If African Americans even discuss (much less make a movie about) the Transatlantic Slave Trade or any of the vestiges of racism, they are shunned.  They are attacked by all sides, even some of their own who think only of their own finances and not the fate of their people.  And on that note, to date, this is the only group that has received no monetary reparations for either their suffering or, in many cases, their contributions to the American economy, history or society.  Never mind that other races of people have received monetary reparations and apologies for race-related misdeeds, if they argue for it, they are just lazy and want something for nothing.

Today, in the face of continued racism, African Americans are supposed to and expected to abandon their own fight for justice to champion the battle that Mexicans and other people of color are experiencing against the same regime that destroyed and oppressed them…in spite of the fact that many of these other people have been, for the most part, silent for the plight of black people.

African Americans are expected to do this even though these same groups of people did nothing to assist them at the height of their mistreatment and, even worse, spoke out against their attempts to redress the balance and pursue justice.

It must be asked: where was the outrage for black people being murdered in the streets, and thus separated from their families by a bit more than a cell wall?  Where was the understanding that the system was flawed and actively working against a group of people to protect the interests of white supremacy?  And where were the unity, calls to action and cries for accountability just a few months ago, when white America was openly complaining that their rights were infringed upon because black people finally understood that their lives mattered?

Do the people who have been calling for assistance and compassion this entire time look like the bad guys in this scenario?  Does it make other peoples of color who are experiencing race related mistreatment the bad guys?  God forbid.  Instead, it should shine an ugly, historical light on the peoples—the same peoples—who are once again destroying the lives of yet another group of people (and people of color I might add).

Can anybody hear me?

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After looking carefully at myself in the mirror, I find that I am not at all pleased with what I see.  Sound familiar?  However, I am not discussing having too much hips or thunder thighs.  No.  I am discussing the person that I have allowed myself to become – to others.

All my life I have been the comforter for whatever relationship I am in.  Be it in relationships with men, women or children, if I can help in any way, I have tried to do so.  If I had the money, and money would help your situation, I provided that.  If it was emotional support that was required, I provided that.  If it was of a spiritual nature, then I became that spiritual guide.  I am, at heart, a helper but, sometimes, the helper needs help.  Who do I turn to?

Well, let me tell you, it is not to the so-called friends that I have assisted in any way, shape or form throughout my life.  How do I know this?  I attempted to do just that.  I contacted the individuals who write to me almost on a daily basis and decided to tell them about my dreams for my life.  I’m not really one to do that.  What did I do that for?

All I received was the cold hard facts of life.  I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to stop complaining, b*tching and moaning and that I should do something about achieving my dreams.  I am not commenting on whether or not the advice was sound; what I am saying is that I received none of the support from these same individuals who seek me out to receive support and guidance for themselves.  If I were suicidal, I almost certainly would have killed myself due to the frustration and lack of empathy that I was meeting with.  I learned that I was burdening them with my “complaint” and that I needed to “move on.”  After two emails, they grew tired.  In other words, they only want to deal with the happy “me.”  They only want the me that is happy all the time—without problems of her own—and is therefore available to be a listening ear and a shoulder for them to cry on.

At first, I thought that because I am always the counselor they were simply unprepared to deal with my needing nurturing.  However, after I made it clear that I was indeed seeking nurturing from them, my needs were still mostly ignored.  I received scorn.  So, I retreated, but not before telling them what I really thought of their lack of patience, concern and understanding for me.  That was a new trick for me.  Normally, I would have retreated without ever letting them know how I really felt and done exactly what they said…”move on” and allow my own hurt to be pushed aside to make room for theirs.  Maybe, I’ll give that mirror trick another try!  I just might like what I see this time.  Can anybody hear me?